Thursday, October 19, 2006







I returned home on Tuesday evening to see that parceline had tried to deliver a parcel to me, and I have had it redelivered today. It was from my Chocolate Swap Partner, Kim. Both Kim and I have been concerned as neither has received the other's parcel, but today I received hers and it had been on its way many a weary day. I hope mine soon limps towards her home, tired and hungry and needing to be unpacked. It was full of lovely goodies, I have taken photos of everything, finished my film off and sent it to be developed, so for actual photos you will have to wait [you know I can't give up my husband's superduper camera for a digital one], but here's a description of everything for now.

All contained in a stripey chocolate coloured bag were:- a pair of socks with a motif of a cheeky monkey holding a banana, an embellished notebook, a chocolate candle, two beautiful mini pillows bound together with leather thonging from which the most beautiful fragrance wafts. A lovely little windchime, I adore windchimes and they pop up all over my house, this will be the first one in the artroom, a rubber stamp, a tiny roll of ribbon from Joannes, wow people are always talking about joannes and now I have something from there, a box of assorted seeds and nuts covered in chocolate coating, some of the pieces were shaped as eggs and marbled almost too good to eat, but I did and they were delicious, a pretty chain with a stone at the end for my neck, and best of all a lovely pouch with one of Kim's lovely beaded faces, which I have admired on her site, attached. I think I have mentioned everything, but they are all on the photographs. Thank you Kim I loved the parcel, it was worth waiting for.



I was commenting on Terri Tinker's site, I love her rambles, when an idea occured to me. After the Halloween Ghost Story Circle, at the beginning of November, how about this? I will put on my site a random list of words or phrases, you can all pick any one [it doesn't matter if a few pick the same] and in your next posting you all make part of your posting about that word or phrase, a sort of stream of consciousness ramble, let the word or phrase take you where it will, it can be silly serious, short or long, if you like it can even be an illustration. Just don't think seriously about it just go with the flow. Who wants to play?



In an earlier posting I talked about 'One Day in History' which was on Tuesday, 17th October, when you were invited to submit a blog posting for posterity, so in the future people could get an idea of life in 2006. This is the blog I submitted, it happened on Tuesday, but you had until the end of this month to post it. The only grumble I had with submitting it is that the entry could not be over 640 words, which really isn't a lot when like me, motormouth, you have a lot to say.

Tuesday, 17th October, 2006

Up at 7.30, get myself ready for day and have weetabix and a cup of coffee for breakfast. I had thought that today would be quite a mundane day but my mother was taken away from her flat yesterday and sent to a local care home for at least a week’s assessment of her severe arthritis, it has suddenly taken a turn for the worse, especially in her hips so that she can not walk at all at the moment. I live in the country, so first of all I head for my nearby town to buy a few toiletries for my mother, everything happened in such a rush yesterday. I then head towards the care home.

My heart sinks as I walk into it, it smells of stale food, I can see no reception, then I notice an office in the corner. I go to the open door, the lady is on the phone, she sees me and I stand back waiting for her to finish her call. She knows I am there but doesn’t break off her phone call or acknowledge me, not even with a nod of her head, I find that this angers me it is discourteous, as far as I am concerned. Eventually I introduce myself, she doesn’t introduce herself, she says my mother is upstairs and will take me there. We go to my mother’s room where she is sitting in a chair in her dressing gown. I feel very depressed, I know it just a spare assessment room, but it is so bare and institutional. My mother is very tired, still in pain, but pleased to see me. We talk and after a couple of hours I have to leave as there is so much sorting out to do in her life. It is now mid afternoon.



Returning to town these things, in particular, occur to me. The humiliation and indignity of the place. No one wanted to talk to me about my mother and or could tell me what was happening. A carer had come into my mother’s room in the morning stripped her completely naked handed her her flannel and said, you wash your face with that while I wash you. She had no sponge, one of the things forgotten in the rush, the carer brought this dirty yellow sponge in to wash her with. My mother refused to have is used on her. The carer said’ I have washed’ it’, I saw that sponge it was disgusting and unhygienic, I threw it in the wastepaper bin. When her lunch tray was brought in the potatoes and vegetables were cold. Where is the dignity of life in that institution? I felt so depressed when I left, I know one thing, if my mother does need residential care, it will NOT be there, I couldn’t leave her there.

The National Health Service, I think is the most wonderful thing a government ever gave to England. I wonder what those who fought for this service would think of the crumbling edifice we are left with today. Top heavy on the management and administrative side, befuddled by it targets and reams of red tape paperwork and with not enough trained nurses and carers. Nothing happens smoothly. The day before my mother sat in a chair waiting for an ambulance for six and a half hours. Her home carer assessor neglected to tell me, her next of kin, what was happening, relying on a friend of my mother’s to get in touch with me. I do wonder how much more of a shambles this country can get itself into. I mourn for England at this point in time.

I returned home to my peaceful cottage last night, where I sank down in a chair with a plate of sandwiches and a glass of red wine.

Don’t forget to join in Daisy Lupins’
Halloween Ghost Story Posting
Post a ghost story, something strange that happened
To you or a tale you want to tell
On 31st October, or as near to before
As possible.
Let’s have a Giant Story Circle



17 comments:

Lisa Oceandreamer Swifka said...

I will email you or this comment will be LONG.
XOXO

Anonymous said...

Oh Daisy, my heart breaks for your mother. Is this what we as an aging generation have to look forward to. I've noticed it here too, it's not just in England.Are these carers so overworked that they just can't find the energy to be civil or compassionate, or are they hardened to the needs of people who have no option but to depend on them totally. At the very least can they not put themselves in your position, and think about what they would hope for and expect if the situation were reversed. Like Lisa (oceandreamer)..I fear my comment might just be too long, so I will stop now. Just know my thoughts are with both you and your Mum xo
The only positive, if one can be found in this sad situation is that it will be recorded for posterity, and others will know that in this age of enlightenment, conditions can still be almost Dickensian.
I love your idea for a stream of conciousness, and will definately play ! I have been challenged in such a positive way by the creative examples set by the ladies whose blogs I visit..yours most of all..xx

natural attrill said...

Oh you poor thing, I do SO feel for you and really understand what it is like. Dealing with NHS and social services is a nightmare, not the individual people, but the whole system, getting anything done and just getting to talk to the right person is sometimes impossible, especially when they will ring you back.........I had a couple of years of carers phoning me up, for example on a Sunday, 8.30am, to tell me my Mum's fridge wasnt working, as if I could travel 200 miles to change the fuse!
Try to take this as a good lesson, you have now seen how awful this care home is, and so you can look around for somewhere more suitable for your Mum's needs so she is comfortable and well looked after for when/if she has to go to live in one.
It has made such a difference to my life knowing that my Mum is at least physically well cared for where she is now. Good luck with it all.
Penny.x

Lisa said...

Tim is an RN and the Nursing Supervisor at a local nursing home. I can tell you that the administration makes it very difficult for them to do their job. There is no excuse for your mother being treated as she was and I'm so sorry.

I think it's great that you put this in the time capsule. I hope everyone is honest like that and doesn't just try to paint a rosy picture.

I must admit, a part of me wants to show this to Tim's mother, who lives with us. She is quite the princess and nothing we do is ever enough. Yesterday she requested that we buy her salt and pepper packets for her bedroom...think she's trying to tell me something? lol

Naturegirl said...

Daisy I know only too well what you are feeling about the lack of dignity given towards your mother. The last photo you posted here is a true picture of ME as I have witnessed the lack of respect given to my mother as a Alzheimer patient brought to hospital 10 days ago!It is what seems a "throw away attitude" towards our loved elderly when taken to medical institutions.I know I should NOT generalize but what I witnessed here in Canada in a local hospital...tsk tsk!What I learned is you MUST be an advocat a LOUD voice because our tired and frail and volunerable parents cannot
speak up or are NOT given opportunity to!! I have her out of hospital now and back in her private
senior residence which I did INVESTIGATE thouroughly and STILL DO
constantly WATCH over the care given to my precious mother.God help us when we reach that age!I sure hope I have a LOUD voice speaking up for me!!
Come to nature-trail and breath in the calming lavender.hugs NG

gma said...

Daisy, ....like the idea of you posting words/phrases for us to blog whtever comes to mind...
Sending prayers for you and your Mother at this difficult time.
xo

couragetocreatewriteandlove said...

My heart is still with you and your Mom. Be yourself.

Sue Seibert said...

Love, prayer, and hugs coming your way.

Carole Burant said...

It IS getting ridiculous the level of care patients now get at any medical institution...when I was at the hospital with Corey with his broken arm, he waited 13 hours in excruciation pain before he could have surgery. In the meantime he was left to just lie there...if I hadn't been with him, nobody would have helped him undress, get comfortable, etc. The nurse just threw a gown at him and said wear this! There he was with a bone broken in half and couldn't move! You hear of a lot of horror stories of what goes on in hospitals and even nursing homes. The care just isn't there anymore. My heart goes out to you and your mom!! xox

Anonymous said...

I feel for you, being close to my own mum, I can understand how hard that would be on both of you.
I would enjoy your "stream of consciousness" game if I may be permitted to join in. That would be great fun!
Love and light and all that stuff to both you and your lovely mum xo

Pam Aries said...

This story about your Mom, pretty much sums up the way I think this world is acting these days! Do you all know what I am saying/?

Lisa Oceandreamer Swifka said...

I forgot to tell you I'd be in on the writing thing you proposed!
XOXO
still thinking of you!

J C said...

Daisygirl, last evening I posted a rather long tirade about how your mom was treated because it upset me so much, and just as I was finishing up my server knocked me off line and it was all lost. So I won't go into it again, becuz everyone else has voiced it for me. Just know that we all CARE, and hopefully your mom will be sent to a loving and caring place soon as her evaluation is over.

Rosa said...

Daisy, I am so sorry for what you are going through. I can't even ponder your sadness for your mother. I pray she will be out of there soon and in better conditions which will make her feel better too. Sending my prayers your way too. Don't be hard on yourself. You need to stay strong for your mum. xo

Gretel said...

This was not a rant (as you said) but a horrible snapshot of the way things are going...one day an eldrely person is a normal human being, the next they can be treated like cattle. Or worse. I hope you had more than one glass of wine after that, and I Really Hope you find somewere more suitable for your mother.

Tea said...

Absolutely horrendous Daisy! We have the same problem here. I swear that my parents will not go into a nursing home unless they are a danger to themselves or others and pray that alzeimers never happpens to them.
I had an aunt who had two children and there was enough money for home care rather then an institution after she got some brain damage from a car accident. I`ll never understand why they didn`t have her in one of their homes when the money could have paid for a full time nurse instead.
Hope there is some really lovely little place near you that truly cares for these older folks rather than those awful places.

tea
xo

Silvia Hoefnagels . Salix Tree said...

It breaks my heart to hear how your Mother is being treated. It's a sad thing that people have to be subjected to this kind of treatment.
Here in Ireland, I feel lucky that there are Irish nurses taking care of patients. Long ago my son (then 7yrs old) severely damaged his leg. The nurses in the hospital were angels, every one of them! I hope it is still so, for this was many years ago. And I would wish for angels such as these to be taking care of all neglected patients, like your Mum.

And I too would love to play your word game, sounds like great fun.